Launched

Joseph has flown. It was a long weekend with many visits from his entourage--various friends coming and going (when I nudged them out the door for some family time). The family room is looking awfully empty. He left with two suitcases full of torn jeans and tattered Harry Potter t-shirts (maybe 2 kilograms) and books and video games (about 40 kilograms). Emily and I took him to the airport, where he disappeared into the security gate and we loitered forlornly for a few minutes, then drove back home, hoping he would get on the plane all right. He got there. He is in the Bay Area for a few days, then on to Kansas and Indianapolis (some esoteric game convention), back to Kansas and to Seattle on the 25th. I am most grateful to all the people who are mothering him in my stead. Joan, picking him up at the airport as he returns to the motherland. Lea, driving to Kansas City in the middle of the night, and no doubt miles of other errands. John and Sue and Mark, ensuring that Joseph has a pillow and sheets and finds his way to his new apartment in Seattle. I wish I could be there, but I have not yet perfected this being-in-two-places-at-once, even in one country. Here on the underside of the world, it is winter, and a mild one, except for the volcano that erupted last night, I suppose. It was Mount Tongariro, where Emily did her heroic crossing in March--about three hours southeast of here. Just a small eruption, so far--some ash, some flames at midnight, but apparently no one hurt. Emily is at rehearsal for "Annie get your gun". Hiccup is going to have his first birthday on Friday. If I find the camera cable, I will post some pictures of Joseph's farewell party, which involved such seemingly innocent pasttimes as Pictionary, Boggle, and chess, juxtaposed with lots of alcohol (the drinking age is 18 here, so it was all legal, and he assures me well-considered, but still a bit disconcerting to the mother). farewell, baby boy.

Pictures May-June 2012

Wintertime

It feels a little less strange to shiver in July, now, but I still have trouble knowing intuitively what month it is. We had a Fourth of July party (on the fifth here, fourth there) last week, hosted by our friend Joy Rising, with some other Americans, as well as several Kiwis, one Japanese, and one South African friend. It was convenient that it was dark by 6:00, so we could see the sparklers (hoarded from Guy Fawkes day). I have been very slack as a blogger, and time has been slipping by. Joseph leaves in three weeks. He is going to Digipen Institute of Technology, outside Seattle, to study video game design. It became clear in talking with him, as he tried to agonise over the decision, that he has had his heart set on this for years. I was comforted by the fact that they now have some student housing, so he is going to a furnished apartment wiht several other new students. Before he goes to school at the end of August, he will be visiting friends in Kansas and going to some game conference in Indianapolis. In the interim, he has had a life apprenticeship as our house boy, picking up Emily from school, shopping, cooking, and doing laundry. He is getting good at stir fry and baking something that is oddly called "homemade pop tarts". Emily is in her last year at Southwell School, thinking about high school next year, which I find hard to think about. She is on the young side, and will be 12 when she starts (most are 13 here, and have five years of high school). Emily and I went to Queenstown, a tourist mecca in the South Island, last month, and she went snow boarding. It was beautiful, and genuinely cold. This week I was trying hard to track down my half-sister, Kay, and finally signed up for Facebook, thinking I might find her there. I didn't (my nephew, Ross, found her with serious detective work, and LinkedIn), but I did find an bewildering array of old friends all over the world. We'll see if this is a good thing as I see if I can resist distraction and get things done when the computer is turned on. Stay cool, or warm, depending on where you are.

Thursday, Feb 9

The biggest news around here is that Joseph has started getting college acceptance letters--much sooner than I had expected! He got an e-mail (not surprisingly) from Digipen Institute last week, and got a packet in the mail today. And yesterday he got a very nice, personal letter from Earlham (making reference to Harry Potter, and Quaker camps) accepting him and offering two merit scholarships--one President's scholarship, and someone else's...it all adds up to less than a quarter of the total cost, but that isn't anything to sneeze at.

Four more to go, and he is to make a decision by the first of May. He is very much enjoying his summer, with lots of friends still around before they go off to various universities, mostly over the next couple of weeks. He has made spaghetti for a gang of them tonight, as they play some game that isn't quite Dungeons and Dragons, but like that.

Joseph got his full driver's license two weeks ago, just in time for Emily to start school, and for him to start picking her up from school, which is very helpful. Emily likes her new, young and energetic male teacher. She is in Year 8, the top of the school, with lots of emphasis on leadership and independence and setting a good example. In two weeks, they will go to school camp for a week, and hers involves going on the Tongariro Crossing--supposed to be the best one-day tramp in New Zealand, some 12 kilometers over a mountain...I'm just as glad someone else gets to coax her onward...

Hiccup and Charlie are still getting along swimmingly. Hiccup starts adolescent puppy class in two weeks. He is still the cutest thing on four legs.

A new year

I am sorry for being so very delinquent in my blogging. It is not that nothing is happening...the last semester was a very busy one, and it kept on going after classes ended, right up until the middle of December, when the university closed up and we went home.

Highlights of the last six months:

In July, Joseph went off to Greece and Italy with his classics class (under the pretext of looking at vases and old stone buildings). My sister Sarah came for two weeks, and had some quality time with Emily, since my between-semester break did not correspond at all to Emily's between-term break, thanks to the biggest media event of the year (you may not have noticed), the Rugby World Cup.

In October, Emily and I went on a cruise! It was a small one (four days), to try out the concept--big boat, thousands of people (well, 2000). I wasn't sure how it would be, but we enjoyed it--Emily liked the kids' programme, and I liked reading my book on the balcony and not being able to do dishes even if I wanted to. We might try it again in a more exotic location (like Asia or Pacific Islands) sometime.

In November, my college roommate, Marian, and her friend, Pam, came to visit. They explored some local attractions on their own (Rotorua, The Shire, where they had just finished filming the Hobbit) and we went to Taupo and Napier over a long weekend. Highlights were the Art Deco walking tour (Napier was destroyed by an earthquake in 1930-something, and rebuilt very prettily) and the gannet colony, where we saw gannets hatching.

Joseph finished his last exam in November, and became a "high school leaver". This doesn't sound like much of an accomplishment...but we tried to celebrate, in spite of minimal cultural support.

The BIG EVENT, however, was Christmas, and its aftermath...Emily got a puppy. Ok, we all got a puppy, but he is Emily's, officially, and Charlie's friend. He wasn't actually under the tree--just a package of puppy accessories that very, very slowly dawned on Emily as she opened them up. It included a picture of the puppy, on a dog tag necklace, which she wore for the next 10 days, while we went to the Quaker Summer Gathering, and then picked him up on January 3. Emily has named him Hiccup. He is a Tibetan Spaniel, five months old.

So the anniversary of Manford's leaving was marked also by a new beginning. We did have some words about him in Meeting that morning, and the yearly meeting gave us a fern to plant in his garden.

Hiccup and Charlie started off slightly leery of each other (Hiccup barked, which scared Charlie, who is about 8 times his size), but they have quickly become friends, and started romping in the yard within two days. I will post pictures.

And by the way, Joseph turned 18 on the 30th, and (I'm not supposed to know this) had a date with a girl on Boxing Day (the 26th). The mother grapevine is strong. And I got myself a car for Christmas--a Honda Jazz, which is called a Fit in the US, I think. It will replace the minivan, as we downsize. Still plenty of room for us and the dogs.

Shortest days

It is July, midwinter--still getting used to that. We are past the shortest day, so someday soon it will be light by 7, but not now. I went to a conference in Dunedin, a far piece south of here--almost to the bottom of the South Island--last week, and it was even darker there, and colder, but nothing like Kansas cold. It was a university town--30,000 of the 110,000 inhabitants are students--and the oldest university in New Zealand (that's not that old...maybe 100 years? maybe a bit more?). I liked it, but really didn't get to see much of it because it was dark by the time we got done with the conference every day, and I didn't really have time to linger. Emily stayed in the boarding house at her school, and enjoyed it, at least for a five-day stint. Joseph held down the fort at home, eating nothing but chicken tenders and pizza, as far as I can tell.

The day after I got back was Book Character day at Emily's school, and I realized as I dropped her off that this is the Halloween equivalent here. They barely celebrate Halloween, and not at all at school, so I'd been kind of sad she was missing out on dressing up and parading around--but then they have this day, which is the culmination of Book Week (they have some authors come and talk to them--not sure what other things go on), when they get to dress up as a character from a book, and they talk about it for weeks, and come in an array of costumes, from casual (a bow and a book, and you're Matilda) to elaborate (I saw a girl in an enormous hoop skirt and wig struggling out of a car). Emily was Robin Hood's daughter. Don't ask me what book that was.

Joseph was off long before dawn this morning to a "fixture" in Auckland--that is where all the sports teams from one school go to another school and play all of their teams. Joseph is on the chess team, and looks a little out of place with all the jocks in their school track suits...then tonight, at midnight, he and a friend are going to the opening of the last Harry Potter movie. Complex emotions. I have no idea what his are. Then, Friday morning, he leaves for Greece and Italy, with his school Classics class.

My sister Sarah is here, hanging out with Emily during the day, as Emily is on the break between terms (she has three weeks). She has been here two days and is nearly recovered from the trip, I think. She and Emily and Charlie walked to Hamilton Gardens, a big park a good walk away, between rain showers yesterday.

We've got the basics of Manford's memorial garden put in, now, and I can see it out the living room window, where he spent his last month. There is a Japanese maple in back of the Buddha, but it is just a stick right now--and the flowers are barely there, but in time I think it will be lovely. I am working on some mosaic on stones at the hospice art therapy group to add one of these days.

Twenty years on

We have celebrated, and weathered, Manford and my 20th wedding anniversary this week. The last month or two have been hard, I suppose the reality of loss setting in and work no longer working as a way to get away, so I approached the anniversary worried, and with a bad cold. Most of our big days are spread across two days here, now, since the date comes first here, then in the US, and we are not sure which is the real anniversary. So on the 26th, here, I had lunch with a friend who brought beautiful flowers, and had a massage, and at home with the kids we lit a candle after dinner and looked at wedding and honeymoon pictures (which Emily loves to do). We remembered many friends and family that way, some of whom are gone, some changed a lot, some changed very little. Then on the 27th, I had six friends over and we opened the bottle of wine Manford and I brought back from St. Victor la Coste, where we spent much of our honeymoon. The wine was a bit harsh, but the company was good, and we toasted Manford.

This time of year is the most confusing for me here; I don’t know if that is worse this year or if it is just the juxtaposition of it being May, but so clearly autumnal, that I can never figure out what the date is, and feel very disoriented. Here they would say “disorientated,” but I can’t bring myself to do that. It is a beautiful sunny day at the moment, but there are big grey clouds hanging about and it could change rapidly. We have some amazing varieties of fungal life growing in the garden, the most spectacular of which is called a basket or lattice fungus, apparently, and it looks like something man-made. First there is a small roundish brown egglike thing in the grass, and then out pops a white structure like a latticework ball, about as big as a softball. A few days later, it collapses and stinks. Apparently it is part of the “stinkhorn” family, but it is definitely not hornlike.

At Easter, we went on a trip to Wellington and then on to Nelson, at the top of the South Island. All three of us went to Wellington, and ate good food and explored for a couple of days before Joseph went up to Young Friends Camp at Whanganui, and Emily and I went on the ferry to the South Island. We drove to Nelson, and spent four days there. It was a bit rainy, but on Good Friday (which is a holiday there, along with Easter Monday) it was not yet rainy and we got to go sea kayaking and got very close to a dozen or so seals. I also learned to try to steer with my feet (the double sea kayak has a rudder controlled by foot pedals) and coordinate paddling with Emily, which was challenging because she has learned to kayak in smaller single kayaks where she steers by paddling strategically or chaotically, depending on her whim. At least she has gotten over her previous habit of dropping the paddle every ten minutes.

We had a good time, but punctuated by the realization that everywhere in New Zealand (and the rest of the world) is either somewhere I went with Manford, or somewhere I didn’t go with Manford. Maybe we need to work on taking him with us, still. Happy Anniversary, my love, and everyone else who remembers it.